Dear UC and Moon,
Congratulations on one year! I’m so glad I was your first … letter. Yes Folks, it's true. LTT gave me their flower, and it was hotter than my questionable Chippendale dancer photoshoots. But what I really want to thank you for is your continuous discussion of my Purpose Driven Life Bible study – attendance has increased exponentially as a result! Instead of tracts, I now just hand out pictures of me as a shirtless cop. With the youth group time and location, of course. When rumor got out that I would be doing a dramatic reading/re-enactment from Song of Solomon, 20 women and the Girls Gone Wild crew showed up, and never left. And let’s not forget that every fanfic author in a 2-state radius comes for inspiration from the popular “Transgression Confession” hour, when everyone repents of the various fantasies they’ve had about me that week. Sorry if I caused you to stumble. But hey! When you look like me … that’s normal!
Here’s to another year of being accountability partners!