Dear UC,

I haven't been seen for awhile because I'm still here under your bed, along with the sexpender pants. That's the strange smell you've been looking for but haven't able to find in your apartment. Rob left us here on his last visit after he tried to sew up another hole, but became distracted when you attempted to rip us off him. You have so many great pictures of us! You've seen the pictures of me from my early days in London when I looked almost new, to those where I had been loving stitched together by HHH's very own hands. I want to send you my congratulations on a full year of aiding the Robsession world wide. Now please get us back to Rob. It's not that we don't like being here, I'm just losing that extra special smell he leaves and the rips you made still need to be stitched up.

That's Normal,

Rob's Beloved Stoli Shirt and the Sexpender Pants