Dear Moon & UC,
Congratulations on one year of getting cougars into trouble because of me! I've now had to place Chris Hansen on my payroll. But I wouldn't trade it for the world, thanks to meat patties and shirtless takes, I am the most loved 8 pack on the planet! Thankfully I've been placed on a really nice guy who seems to be a really great spokesperson for whatever he's doing. He's definitely mature. I just can't believe I sit on a 17 year old! That never happens....ever! Just wait until next year cause I so know you'll still be going strong and by then my packs could be bigger! Taylor Swift may even write a song about them that make me even more popular than I already am!
Flexing myself in thanks, because that's normal,